how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
