There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
