Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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