I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
