I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
