Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
