Got a toothbrush?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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