so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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