i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
