Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Text me some of your sweat
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
