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• (419): View more from Ohio

  this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he wasn't. neither were you.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  you dipped you banana in queso last night.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything

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• (925): View more from California

  Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  no way

  (519): View more from Ontario

  that's when i decided you were gonna be okay

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.

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• (716): View more from New York

  We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Are you ok?!

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.

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• (415): View more from California

  dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.

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