I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
