I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Too much gin, very little bucket
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
