ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
