please come you make the beer taste better
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
