Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
