Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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