First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
