Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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