So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
