I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
