xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize