i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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