just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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