did you get engaged???
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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