well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize