Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
