No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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