found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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