Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
