he told me I talked like a deaf person
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
