yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
