Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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