You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
