if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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