I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
