woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
