Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize