Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
