Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
