I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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