I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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