The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
