big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
