So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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