oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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