There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
