You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
