We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
