I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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