Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
