a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
