Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
