Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
