Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
