Pants 0. Shit 1.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
