i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
