I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
