So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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