Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
