69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
